Making Networking EASY as an Introvert
I will be the first to tell you that networking sucks. Especially if you are incredibly introverted and being around strangers is the biggest drain of your energy. Even looking through stock images of “networking” to add onto this blog post, I felt literal cringe.
However, I have come to find in my 10 years of building a career, networking is ESSENTIAL when it comes to career advancement (and life advancement). Not only does it introduce you to people that can set you up for success, you can also find mentors and those who have a wealth of knowledge in your industry. There was even an MIT study that essentially said “it’s those you kind of know that will get you the job.” Your sister’s friend at the baby shower, the colleague who has a daughter your age, yes those random connections that you aren’t super close with are the connections you need to build.
With that being said, this past year I have put myself into a ton of networking opportunities and it has been game changer in growing my network and setting me up for opportunities.
So fear not, fellow introverts! Let’s just address it right away shall we? Effective networking is not about being the life of the party. It’s about building genuine connections and actually forming relationships in a natural way. I will teach you how to do that —
Online Networking
Ehhh you probably haven’t considered online interactions to be networking situations, huh?? Well luckily, the digital age has opened up a world of opportunities for introverts to network without the pressure of face-to-face interactions. Here are some strategies to leverage online platforms:
Master LinkedIn: yes my friends, it is time to update that LinkedIn page and become comfortable posting and interacting with other accounts. This platform has yet to be overrun by content and connection so now is your chance to really stand out.
Optimize your profile: Create a strong headline and summary that highlights your skills and experience.
Connect strategically: Reach out to people in your industry, alumni, and former colleagues.
Engage in discussions: Join relevant groups and participate in conversations to share your insights.
Post! Post content that will bring people to you and have them engaging with your account. Remember that it does not always have to be career related content - you can also just post something that showcases your personality.
Virtual Communities: Virtual communities can be really anything that is online - I use social media as my virtual community and that has been GAME CHANGER when it comes to building a network. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF SOCIAL MEDIA!!
I have met so many people through instagram - and you don’t need to be “insta-famous” you just need to be active and comment/DM/build relationships. Virtual communities can also be things like online meet-up groups or online networking. So here are some tips:
Find your niche: Seek out online communities related to your interests or profession.
Contribute thoughtfully: Share valuable information, ask insightful questions, and offer help.
Build relationships slowly: Start with small interactions and gradually deepen your connections.
In-Person Networking
While online networking offers many advantages, in-person events can still be valuable. Here’s how to navigate them:
Do Your Homework:
Do a little bit of research about the event. If there are speakers, learn all about them. If you have access to the attendee list, do a little bit of stalking to learn more about the interests of people who are going to be there. This gives you fuel on what to be knowledgeable about so you can go in with value and something to say.
If it is an event that is more casual/all over the place in people and interests, it’s okay! Knowing that will tell you that no matter what, you will find someone to vibe with.
Set specific goals:
Determine what you want to achieve, whether it’s meeting a particular person or gaining insights. I usually go into an event with a quantifiable goal such as “I will get one phone number” or “I will get 3 business cards” or “I will follow 5 new people on Instagram.”
If your goal is to get out of there as soon as possible, setting up the quantifiable goals can give you an “out.” So that way you can feel accomplished by the time you leave and will prevent it from feeling like a waste of time.
Prepare Your Elevator Pitch:
Essentially, have an idea of what you want to say in order to start a conversation. Sometimes it’s easier to find one person or a two person group to start off with and then hopefully they can introduce you to more or other people will come talk to your newly made group. After saying hi and introducing yourself, here are some questions you can ask:
“What brings you to this event?”
“How do you know the host?”
“What have you been excited about recently?”
“How long have you been in (city)?”
“What’s been on the back of your mind recently?”
“How did you hear about this event?”
“Is it your first time here?”
Let them do the talking:
This is such duh tip but people always forget it. Especially if you are a person who talks when you are nervous. Learn to breathe, take breaks, let the other person talk. A way to do this is to always ask open ended questions such as “Wow! I’ve lived in Austin a while too! What has made you stay so long?” This will allow for insight into their lives and give them opportunity to do most of the talking.
I also learned a trick recently where your responses are essentially just repeating back to them what they said and it shows that you are on the same page and it encourages them to keep talking. For example:
Stranger: “Oh I’ve lived in Austin for about 5 years!”
You: “Oh wow 5 years!”
Stranger: “Yeah I moved here from New York for my job”
You: “Oh you moved here for your job?”
Stranger: “Yep! I work at Google…”
You get what I mean. It can literally just go on and on and by the time you are done, they feel incredibly connected to you because they have just given you their whole life story. You will come to mind as a great conversation they had while they were at the event!
Fake it:
Fake it to yourself, fake it to others, fake it til you make it! See life as one big movie - if you are going to be the main character, you have to learn how to ACT. Now I am not saying this as a way to be deceiving or to lead people astray or be disingenuous. I am saying that sometimes it is okay to ACT like you are comfortable or to ACT like you are having a good time or to ACT like you are genuinely interested in a person’s cat.
But you get what I mean? Sometimes you have to start acting a certain way in order to get your brain where you want it to be. It’s the same concept of manifestation - you ACT like you already have everything you want, like you’re a millionaire, like you have your perfect partner - and life starts to make it happen.
So do it in networking situations. You act like you are already their friend/ connection, you act like you really enjoy meeting new people, you act like you LOVE to network, and it starts to become so so so much easier. Trust me.
They are your friends!
But speaking of acting, this is a tip I tell myself all the time. Just pretending that these people are already your friends alleviates a lot of pressure to impress them. You end up just “catching up” with them, seeing how their day is going, how that project or promotion is coming along. Once you get a little bit more info about them, show interest in their lives like they are your friend! And don’t be doing the “looking over the shoulder for a better connection” sort of thing. While you are talking to them they are THE MOST interesting person in the room. Give them your full attention.
Follow Up:
An underutilized tip is to be following up with the people you connect with. If there is no follow through, it is essentially a wasted connection.
Send a personalized email: Thank the person for their time and reiterate key points from your conversation.
Comment on their stuff: If you start following them on LinkedIn or Social Media, be active in engaging with their content. Leave meaningful comments and DM them content you think they would resonate with.
Maintain the connection: Stay in touch by sharing relevant articles or inviting them to coffee chats.
Remember that it doesn’t have to be a lot of follow up and you don’t have to become super close. Do enough to stay top of mind when it comes to connecting you to new people or new opportunities when the time comes.
Building Confidence: Focus on Quality, Not Quantity
The key to successful networking, especially for introverts, is to focus on quality over quantity. Rather than aiming to meet as many people as possible, prioritize building meaningful relationships with a few individuals. Do your best not to overthink it, my loves. Always remember:
Be yourself: Authenticity is key. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.
Active listening: Pay attention to what others are saying and respond thoughtfully.
Offer value: Share your knowledge and expertise to help others.
Practice: This will get easier the more you do it - I promise.
YOU GOT THIS!!!!
What are your biggest networking challenges as an introvert? Share your experiences and tips in the comments below. Let’s keep the tips flowing!